I never want Phoenix to feel like he “completes me.” My conversations with God (when we were trying to get pregnant) often were me confessing my feeling that I wasn’t sure a childless life would be enough for me. A spouse or child will never fulfill anyone, but coming to that realization isn’t easy.
All of this plays into my first Mother’s Day.
Holidays, such as Mother’s Day, might as well be called EMOTIONALDAYS. Expectations aren’t met. Meltdowns occur. Family drama is always lying just beneath the dinner table. Societal pressure to “not care” when maybe I might care… a lot. My philosophy around “Hallmark” holidays is if it matters to you, let those around you know what you need while also making it special for others.
Take Mother’s Day: If you and your mother have a strained relationship bless a mother in your circle. When Mother’s Day was difficult for me, I chose to push positive energy outwards, toward others.
This is not to say ignore your emotional sanity, but creating special moments (for people in your circle) gives meaning to your current situation.
I promise, it helps.
My first Mother’s Day wasn’t unlike a typical family Sunday, which is how I wanted to spend the day. After Phoenix’s morning nap we went to Dose for an iced latte (I told Phoenix, if all else fails, coffee is a way to his mama’s heart) and walked around Germantown.
Germantown is home to a few of my favorite boutiques in town, including Rich Hippies, a kid’s clothing boutique. In true mom fashion I only bought things for Phoenix on Mother’s Day. I bought these stripped shorts for Phoenix. It’s not easy finding bottoms that fit Phoenix’s small waist!
The best find of the day was this Neon Lightning bolt. Phoenix’s room is a little haphazard right now but we’re slowly piecing it together. Jordan and I might have also settled on a coffee table situation after browsing Wilder. As much as I love online shopping, sometimes you just need to see things in person.
My main request for the day? No cooking! We ordered take-out from Little Donkey so Phoenix could take his second nap at home. I’m really glad we did because he took a great afternoon nap! Jordan and I watched Jackie in the evening after Phoenix was asleep. Have you seen it? It was a haunting and beautiful movie.
I received an outpouring of love throughout the day, which meant the world to me. Jordan and I couldn’t manage raising Phoenix without the support from our community — from encouraging texts and dinner invites (even with a fussy baby), to offering childcare or supplying a meal when life gets stressful. It takes a village!
^ This sunhat from Gigipip is amazing. It’s well constructed and comfortable.
^ HIS FACES ARE ALL ME.