My First Mother’s Day

First Mother's Day

I never want Phoenix to feel like he “completes me.” My conversations with God (when we were trying to get pregnant) often were me confessing   my feeling that I wasn’t sure a childless life would be enough for me. A spouse or child will never fulfill anyone, but coming to that realization isn’t easy.

All of this plays into my first Mother’s Day.

First Mother's Day

Holidays, such as Mother’s Day, might as well be called EMOTIONALDAYS. Expectations aren’t met. Meltdowns occur. Family drama is always lying just beneath the dinner table. Societal pressure to “not care” when maybe I might care… a lot. My philosophy around “Hallmark” holidays is if it matters to you, let those around you know what you need while also making it special for others.

Take Mother’s Day: If you and your mother have a strained relationship bless a mother in your circle. When Mother’s Day was difficult for me, I chose to push positive energy outwards, toward others.

This is not to say ignore your emotional sanity, but creating special moments (for people in your circle) gives meaning to your current situation.

I promise, it helps.

First Mother's Day

My first Mother’s Day wasn’t unlike a typical family Sunday, which is how I wanted to spend the day. After Phoenix’s morning nap we went to Dose for an iced latte (I told Phoenix, if all else fails, coffee is a way to his mama’s heart) and walked around Germantown.

Germantown is home to a few of my favorite boutiques in town, including Rich Hippies, a kid’s clothing boutique. In true mom fashion I only bought things for Phoenix on Mother’s Day. I bought these stripped shorts for Phoenix. It’s not easy finding bottoms that fit Phoenix’s small waist!

The best find of the day was this Neon Lightning bolt. Phoenix’s room is a little haphazard right now but we’re slowly piecing it together. Jordan and I might have also settled on a coffee table situation after browsing Wilder. As much as I love online shopping, sometimes you just need to see things in person.

First Mother's Day

My main request for the day? No cooking! We ordered take-out from Little Donkey so Phoenix could take his second nap at home. I’m really glad we did because he took a great afternoon nap! Jordan and I watched Jackie in the evening after Phoenix was asleep. Have you seen it? It was a haunting and beautiful movie.

I received an outpouring of love throughout the day, which meant the world to me. Jordan and I couldn’t manage raising Phoenix without the support from our community — from encouraging texts and dinner invites (even with a fussy baby), to offering childcare or supplying a meal when life gets stressful. It takes a village!

First Mother's Day

First Mother's Day

^ This sunhat from Gigipip is amazing. It’s well constructed and comfortable.

First Mother's Day

^ HIS FACES ARE ALL ME.

First Mother's Day

First Mother's Day

20 thoughts on “My First Mother’s Day”

  1. I always appreciate your perspective on motherhood. I feel the same way — I never want to put that kind of pressure on Selah to be my completer (or on my self to make my child the thing that completes me). Motherhood is just one (very important) part of who we are as women.

  2. Oh my gosh “emotional days” is so right. Pretty much a guarantee with little ones that when you have expectations about something and are trying to make it all perfect, there will be a meltdown or a missed nap or something. But even more than that I really appreciate your take on letting others know what you need, but also on making things special for others.

    And your day sounds just lovely! An ideal kind of family day, and how nice that it just happened to coincide with your first Mother’s Day 🙂

  3. I love this! I remember when we were having fertility issues praying the same prayer and knowing deep down that no child, husband or friend would ever fill me like God can and does. It is tough to go through that and have that realization. Now we are blessed with three children, and our mother’s day was hectic and full of tantrums! haha But I wouldn’t have it any other way. 🙂

  4. Happy First Mother’s Day! I had my first one this year myself and I completely agree with you. I never want Genisys to feel like he completes me but it’s pretty close to being true.

  5. Oh how I’m loving your perspective.
    It’s so so so good, and such a constant reminder that no matter your season or wants there is always an opportunity to bless others.

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