2014 / / A Year in Review

IMG_2291

As this dusty road now settles and I see what lay before, every tear that held a broken dream is now shattered on the floor. And now bursting forth in splendor are the blossoms of second tries because dreams that bear the mark of love are dreams that never die. 

Sometimes life can feel so unkind. Sorrow won’t define me so just reminds my soul. “Moving Forward,” Colony House.

Thanksgiving night, while curled up in bed with Jordan at my in-laws house, Jordan and I continued discussing our thankful list for 2014. Words began spilling out of my mouth that kind of surprised me.

“Yeah, I think that 2014 has been the best year of our marriage.”

2014 still didn’t bring us a baby.

2014 included spending money on a lot of doctors visits.

2014 included stress, tears, and worry.

But despite all of that, 2014 included joy, adventures, growth, and a lot of love.

I’m coming to realize that every year is full of ups and downs; some years lean more towards one end of that spectrum than others. How we choose to respond to our trials is totally up to us (I’m still working on this one).

2013 was extremely difficult for me, but a lot of that had to do with my expectations. I expected to get pregnant quickly. The blinders that I wore during that disappointment, limited my ability to find any joy. I don’t want to live through another year like that. 2014 was much better… I am expecting great things in 2015 even if it isn’t anything I plan for because my life is more fulfilling than I ever could have imagined.

Peace be with us as we enter this new year, while still facing our mountains.

/ / Want to leave a reply?

/ / Linking with Emily & Lisa.

37 thoughts on “2014 / / A Year in Review”

  1. Through the pain, God still showers with blessings and I am grateful for that. And sometimes there just aren’t any words, but a simple hug that says ‘I’m here for you.’ xo.

  2. I have been there too. Our second year together was really rough, it didn’t bring a baby but it did bring a lot of health problems for my husband. There were a lot of tears and frustration that year but it bonded us very closely and taught us a lot about inner strength and character. There’s always a lesson in there somewhere.

    1. When the struggles are overcome in unity, a special bond really does occur. We’ve always been close, but I know we are closer in part to struggling with infertility. A blessing out of all of the mess for sure.

  3. This is such a great outlook on the ups and downs. You never know what a year may bring but it is a good feeling knowing there is always something to be grateful for despite the worry. Happy new year!

  4. Wow, that is beautiful. A friend of mine has been trying to get pregnant for 7 years. They are both completely fertile. Have tried all of the alternative methods and nothing. This past year they adopted a beautiful baby girl. Jesus provides in so many ways.

  5. What a beautifully worded post! And so encouraging to hear how you can be thankful even if your circumstances haven’t changed. Such a great challenge to me with my own “mountains”. Sending prayers your way in that difficult journey.

  6. I feel like expectations set us up at times. I am never happy when I expect certain things to happen, because more often than not there are things out of my control impacting life. It’s wonderful to know that God has a plan and even though I want so badly to be the one in control, I try my hardest to give everything over to Him and just let it be…(easier said than done)

    I wish you all the best in 2015, may God bless you and Jordan with peace and grace and understanding and even more love xo

  7. It’s wonderful to realize that sometimes the hard years can still be really blessed years. I just discovered your blog through Week’s End at Oak + Oats. Can’t wait to read more!

  8. Thank you for being honest and taking time to reflect on your 2014. Isn’t it interesting that some of our best intentions with expectations turn into some of our greatest pains? I’ve been reflecting on that lately as we enter a New Year.

  9. I love your honest heart. That was seriously a huge part of what got me through our years of infertility. You’ve definitely been put on my heart to pray for you through your baby journey. My heart is heavy for you because I know all too well the deep longings that go unfulfilled in the ways WE want them fulfilled. But you have the best attitude and outlook, and God will honor that.

  10. Found your blog through the In a Sequoia Blog link up – wanted to say how much I love the honesty and openness that you share here! I had many of the same thoughts about 2014 – overall there were some pretty sad things, but if you choose to look the opposite way and see the good, it really was pretty great. Wishing you lots of love.

    1. Thank you, Amanda. It is hard to see the good in all of the bad, but I am becoming a better person for it. And thankfully I have people around me who help when days are really tough.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *